It’s easy, lazy and virtually irresistible to mock the way that non-native speakers mutilate the english language. But none of that is relevant to Indian English, which is a fully formed and lovingly nurtured tongue in its own right - think Bertie Wooster on acid. You can only be impressed by the sentence like “Spark Engineering is also proud that it has all it’s (sic) systems working smoothly and clicking.” I say... mine’s a Pimms No. 1, and don’t go easy on the borage!

In 2005 Spark Engineering offered its choosy customers three basic designs of derailleur, Starlit Advent, Starlit Elite and plain Starlit. These designs were available in a plethora of variations, short or long cage, 5 or 6/7 speed and with or without a hanger plate. All three variants presumably worked smoothly, but only the Advent and Elite were indexed, so they may have had to do the clicking.

And who can forget screen resolutions of 800 by 600 pixels and the execrable Internet Explorer 5.5 (see image 1)?

• Publisher: Starlit and/or Spark
• Country: India
• Date: 2005?
• Derailleur brands: Starlit, Spark
• Derailleurs: Starlit Advent, Starlit Elite, Starlit